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Question:
I have a friend female friend who has a serious boyfriend that she wants to get engaged to, but she cheats on him repeatedly and I know about it. Should I tell him, or just stay our of her business? I’m feeling guilty about not telling him.

Answer:

There is a reason you feel guilty. God gives us a conscience so that when we witness something that is wrong we are not able to just ignore it without bothering us.

We live in a culture today that protects the wrongdoer because we are afraid of being accused of being judgmental or “holier than thou”. Too often we hear the excuse “it’s none of my business” while the wicked person goes unconfronted and the victim is shown no compassion.

The real reason for this is simply a lack of moral courage. It’s easier to ignore the situation and not get involved. So we make up excuses such as it’s none of my business.

Not only is this wrong from the aspect of protecting the person who is being hurt, this is wrong from a biblical standpoint as well:

James 4:17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin. (NKJV)

We know that it is a good thing to expose sin and protect the innocent. Your immoral and cheating friend should be confronted. The innocent boyfriend who is unaware of her unfaithfulness to the relationship should be informed.

This is the good thing to do. Not to do it, according to Scripture, would be sinful.

From a practical standpoint here is my advice on how to handle it: tell your friend that she has 24 hours to tell her boyfriend the truth about the situation. Tell her that if you cannot confirm that she has been truthful to him, you will have no choice but to call him and tell him yourself.

You owe this to the innocent party because of the fact that you know what’s going on, and it is your duty to confront sin with courage (and compassion).

Your friend will likely express that she will hate you for doing this, that it’s none of your business, that you are self-righteous and perhaps she will threaten you in some other way. That is why it takes moral COURAGE to do the right thing. It is not fun and it is not comfortable.

To know that you should do this good thing and not to do it, would be wrong on your part – not loving to the innocent party and being cowardly concerning your friend’s sinful behavior.

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