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Question:
I was looking at my husbands page on MySpace.com. There is a post from a female that contains a sexually explicit picture. My husband says it is a co-worker, and the post is an advertisement for her exotic dancing. I am a Christian and we have a 13 year old daughter. I’m really concerned. What is your advice?

Answer:

You should be concerned.

First of all (and this will get me a lot of email), MySpace.com is quickly becoming SomePlace that Christians ought to think twice about participating on.

Granted, the whole site is not bad. Yes, you could have a page, or hang out there, and never do anything wrong. And you might not see a bad video on MTV. And you may never actually see any sex scenes in R-rated movies. I know, you can go into a bar and not drink, and you can read Playboy for the great articles. There are all these worldly things that we can do and not actually do the “bad” part (I hope you’re seeing the sarcasm here).

Chances are, you WILL encounter the increasing amount of blatant immorality, mindless time-wasting or raw worldliness available at MySpace (and your kids? how about the growing number of sexual predators masquerading as other kids). At MySpace, chances are you’re going to get an eye full – both eyes most likely.

That’s my PERSONAL opinion about MySpace. Take it for what it’s worth.

As for your husband having a sexually explicit post on his page, (I’m assuming he professes to be a Christian), it’s just wrong, wrong, wrong. I don’t care if his “co-worker” is raising money to save her mother from dying from cancer. A sexually explicit picture for any reason on a married man’s “my page” is wrong. Period. (or on anybody’s webpage anywhere)

It’s DOUBLY wrong that you husband defends it with such a lame excuse. By the way, if the explicit post is from a “co-worker” and it’s for “exotic dancing”, where exactly does your husband work? That might be the real problem.

Your 13 year old daughter is a whole other issue. Your husband is conveying his attitude about women to her, passively or otherwise. He is pitifully failing in honoring his wife, and teaching his daughter. He is sending her a silent message about the standard of modesty his daughter will be expected to adhere to (“do as I say, not as I do!”).

I really don’t know how to answer you, or give you advice, because the problems with all this are all too obvious. My guess is that your marriage, your spiritual relationship with him, and his spiritual life are suffering across the board. I would advise you to seek PASTORAL marriage counseling, and serious Bible teaching on Christian living and parenting.

That leaves me with two thoughts:

  1. Christians: be careful about the world’s fads. MySpace is very concerning for both adults and especially children. Yes, I know, “but Brent, I have a page on MySpace and there’s nothing wrong with it”. Everyone is the exception. MySpace opens up a whole world to your kids that you better be aware of, and gives opportunity for all sorts of fleshly indulgence to kids and adults alike. Be warned.
  2. Men: stop with the lame excuses and mind games concerning sexual immorality, in particular, on the Internet where it is available in truckloads in less than 2 seconds. Be a man. Stop looking at half-dressed and naked women. Have eyes only for your wife. Teach your daughters by your actions how much you respect and revere women. You can’t expect modesty and purity from your daughters, or fidelity from your wife, if you allow yourself to indulge in illicit imagery.

Sorry, there’s not a whole lot of “preaching” or Bible verses in this answer. What is wrong with this situation should be fairly obvious even to new or immature Christians. My main goal was to warn you to be careful about MySpace. As Christians, you should be.

Readers, what is your experience with MySpace? Are you as concerned about it as I am? Put your thoughts on the Discussion Forum here….

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