Here is an exact question submitted to me today:
I have a little problem on my career at 34, i dont know hw to move forward , coz have tried my best in dfferent areas. what can i do?
There are a LOT of success/advice people today that take the arrogant, elitist, everyone-else-are-losers approach when answering questions or giving advice. It’s become fashionable to talk down to people and declare yourself above the riff-raff and failures of the great masses.
Please. Before the self-esteem, positive thinking success-guru era, we used to call that PRIDE and arrogance. However, there times when direct answers are needed, and sugar coating does no one any good. This is one of those times.
This question represents FAR TOO MANY people today. Lazy, uneducated, apathetic, unprofessional, self-elevating and victimized. I don’t speak so much to this single person who asked the question, as I do to large part of today’s population that fits nicely in the same mold.
First of all, get real. You’ll never have any type of career using the writing and language of adolescents texting on cell phones. Coz? Who’s going to take you serious?
You ask for professional advice by writing fragmented sentences, mispelled words, in slang language, without capitalization or correction punctuation, and with about 6th grade vocabulary?
Now, if that truthfully is the extent of your communication skills, then your career problem only has ONE need right now: education… particularly in English, writing and communication.
I don’t have a problem with someone being uneducated; we all start that way. I do have a problem with someone who refuses to be educated, and still expects a career. If that is you, dear reader, don’t expect a career unless you can catch footballs or make raunchy videos.
Next on the chopping block: the self-esteem-victim mentality. I tried really hard for a little while. I deserve better… How many times I’ve gagged when I hear people whining about how they deserve something cuz they tried hard and did da best deh could.
This is a SPECIFIC result of our self esteem mentality. People today have a completely over blown sense of self-worth, self-love and talent, coupled with a my rights and I deserve narcissism… all coming together to create the perfect storm of whining victim-quitters.
Yeah, I know… that’s judgmental, mean, bigoted, insensitive, extremist and hate-filled. And probably homophobic, racist and contributive to global warming.
I caught a few minutes of American Idol last year where this contestant moaned, groaned, cried and cursed about how hard he tried. After doing one of the world’s worse and most embarrassing auditions, the conversation went something like this:
Simon: It’s a ‘no’. You can’t sing. You’re terrible.
Contestant: I tried my best.
Simon: So. You’re not a singer.
Contestant: Well you don’t have to be rude and treat people that way.
Simon: I’m not being rude. You can’t sing. Do you want me to lie about it?
Contestant: You are heartless. I stood outside in the cold for 5 days waiting, and I worked as hard as I can.
Simon: I can stand outside in cold for five days and work hard too… but it doesn’t make me a singer.
Contestant: Well who are you? You’re not up here even trying at all. Who are you to tell me I don’t deserve to go to Hollywood.
Simon: I’m not auditioning. It doesn’t matter how hard you tried. You can’t sing. I’m the judge. It’s my job to decide who goes. You aren’t…
Contestant: Well you’re rude… you just can’t treat people that way. I don’t deserve this. You have no ideas how hard I tried. I know I can sing. You can’t tell me I don’t deserve this …………………….
As I sat listening to the exchange, coupled with what I see every day in the work world, on TV and at schools, it’s apparent that it’s time to pay the Piper for this self esteem GARBAGE we’ve been pumping up our children with for 20 years.
I tried my best… So? Twenty six other football teams try their best too, but they don’t win the Super Bowl. If professional sports followed our self-esteem political correctness, we’d give every player in the NFL a trophy and ring, and tell them you’re all winners because you deserve it! How many advertisers you think would line up to advertise for that?
News flash: if your effort wasn’t good enough, try again. Try harder. Try something different.
No one owes you a career. No one cares if you tried hard. No one cares to help you with your career if you cannot learn to communicate professionally. And no one professionally cares about a 34 year old who can’t speak like an adult and gives up after trying my best.
Folks, that is not being mean, or insensitive. It’s being realistic. Our kids, youth and young adults (not to mention boat loads of people older than that) NEED TO HEAR THE TRUTH. If my response makes you mad then I’m going to guess you’ve been far too influenced by our politically correct, narcissistic, poor-me, victimhood culture.
Now, that was my social commentary. Here is my personal advice to the actual person who submitted this question: If you are serious, and really want advice… and if you are communicating the best you can and now realize that you need help learning how to communicate… and if you mean that you will keep on trying your hardest UNTIL YOU GET RESULTS… then I’m on your side, and I’m glad to help you.
First, start reading for HOURS a day. Reading will improve your communication skills more than anything else. READ BOOKS, not magazines or the Internet. Read professional books and learn how they speak and write. Get an English for Dummies book and learn the basics of communicating well.
I can’t advise you on what career education you should seek because you don’t mention what your experience, skill or passions are. Whatever they are, get educated about it. READ, READ, READ.
NO career, and I mean NO career will have a problem if you work hard, be honest, treat people fairly, and do quality work. I have NEVER seen a person go without all the work they can handle by doing those things.
You must also be flexible. You don’t DESERVE anything. If you can’t find one type of work or customer related to what you are passionate about, then you must be willing to take any work available.
I love to write, teach and do design. I will always seek that type of work but I don’t DESERVE it. If I can’t find it, I’ll do whatever it takes to feed my family and help others. Dig ditches, haul trash, wait tables… whatever I must do because I understand I don’t DESERVE anything, no matter how hard I try, or how much I want it.
When I get the work I love, it’s because God blesses me with it, not because I DESERVE it.
What can you do? Educate yourself, learn to communicate professionally, work hard, quit thinking you deserve anything, and don’t have a poor me mentality. You’ll soon have the career you are after.
And yes, I know about the typo in the seventh paragraph (mispelled). I felt a little mischievous and wanted to see who would dismiss this entire message because of a MISTAKE, not a lifestyle choice. Sorry, just couldn’t pass up the chance for a little psychological fun…