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American Christianity has bought into the fallacy of self esteem despite the Biblical injunction of self-sacrifice and selfless living. Despite much Biblical refutation of this destructive idea, people are easily pressured into agreeing with and accepting the RELIGION of Self Esteem.

Consequently we chase our feelings and our rights destroying lives and families at record rates.

Even secular sources are now wising up to this narcissistic psychobabble that is turning (has turned?) a generation of Americans into self absorbed whiners whose personal happiness rises above all. Read this article from Readers Digest:

Go Ahead, Hurt My Feelings
By Tucker Carlson

HOW IMPORTANT is self esteem? Several years ago, the state‑sponsored California Task Force on Self‑Esteem decided to find out. Researchers viewed the literally thousands of available studies on the subject. In the end, says author Maureen Stout, here’s what they found: “There is little or no correlation between high self esteem and a reduction in teen pregnancy, drug use, violence in schools.”

In other words, telling kids that they’re wonderful and terrific may make them feel good, but there’s no evidence it makes kids behave better or achieve anything.You’d think this fact, that a central assumption of American life is false, would make headlines, forcing legislators and educators to rethink their positions on self esteem. You would be wrong. The doctrine of self‑esteem has, if anything hardened into a national orthodoxy. In 21st century America, hurting a person’s self‑esteem is more than rude. It’s considered morally wrong in some places, it’s virtually illegal, or at least actionable.

One night last fall four seventh‑graders at Ridgefield Academy in Connecticut broke into their school using a stolen key. The boys swiped food from the cafeteria stole from the band room, threw eggs at a school bus and left a kitchen knife lying on school grounds. The following day they bragged about what they had done. A few days later, they were expelled.

In a way, the boys were fortunate the school did not press charges. Far from being grateful, however, the parents of one boy were outraged at the treatment of their son, claiming among other things‑that he had been “harassed” and “defamed.” They sued, seeking monetary damages for treatment that caused their son “feelings of unworthiness” and left his “self‑worth impugned.” In a society in which self‑esteem is the highest value, the reaction made sense: The boys may have committed a crime against their school, but the school hurt their feelings. Hence, the boys were the real victims.

Will this sort of lawsuit multiply? When it’s an issue of self‑esteem, some schools don’t want to take any chances. In Rhode Island, officials at Barrington High School determined that it would be wrong to bar a student from the school’s track team, even though the boy is confined to a wheelchair. Last spring he competed with able‑bodied runners in the 100 meter dash.

The feelings police are ever vigilant, and you can see why. There’s hardly an event in American life that couldn’t make someone feel uncomfortable. Holidays are the worst. Residents of a housing project in Portland, Maine, were told to remove all celebratory decorations from public areas of the building around the month of December. Why? Because signs proclaiming “Happy Holidays” might make some people feel excluded. School bus drivers in Maine have been banned from leading Christmas carols on the same grounds.

And it’s not just religious holidays that threaten to hurt feelings. Celebrations of Valentine’s Day, an obvious emotional minefield, have been banned by some schools. In Manhattan, the Rodeph Sholom Day School went so far as to eliminate Mother’s Day. Not everybody, it turns out, has a mother at home. Some have two fathers. In light of this, school administrators explained in a letter to parents, Mother’s Day “may not be a positive experience.”

Entirely true.

Not all of life’s experiences are positive. Many are downright unpleasant, even painful, and always have been. What’s new is the attempt to prohibit those experiences. An article several years ago in the Journal of Physical Education, Recreation &Dance, for instance, argued that many traditional children’s games‑dodge ball, kickball, musical chairs, red rover, tag and duck, duck, goose, to name a few‑are competitive, exclusionary, and therefore bad for a child’s self‑esteem. You can guess what happened next. (In case you can’t, ask a school‑age child when he last played kickball, or if he has even heard of it.)

What’s wrong with this? It’s misleading, for one thing. You can spare a child the supposed agonies of duck, duck, goose, but you can’t change the fundamentally hierarchical nature of the world. Real life is ranked: The smartest, hardest working and most talented come in first.

It’s called meritocracy, and it’s not so much an ideal, as an expression of the way things really are. Pretending a person has accomplished something may increase that person’s self esteem, but it doesn’t mean he has accomplished anything. This is one of those lessons best learned young.

In the early 1990s, researchers decided to test the effects of self‑esteem by measuring how high school students perceived their own academic ability. Students were asked to agree or disagree with the statement “I am good at mathematics.”

As it turned out, the more highly students thought of their ability, the less ability they had, and vice versa. Kids in Washington, D. C., ranked first in the country in self esteem‑fully 28 percent considered themselves quite skilled in math but came in second to last in actual performance. Students in North Dakota, meanwhile, came in first on math tests, but ranked at the bottom in self‑esteem.
In other words, years of self-love propaganda succeeded only in producing self‑deluded kids. Surprised? You must be an educator.

If the world is beginning to realize the useless and destructive results of self-esteem, why are professing Christians so fooled by it? Is it a lack of spiritual commitment? An [1] absence of moral courage [2] to stand against the world? An ignorance of God’s Word [3] ?

Or is it simply an indulgence of our selfishness and a pandering to our self love?

Either way, Christian homes, families and lives are being wrecked at a pace equal to that of the world and it almost certainly can be traced in most cases to some form of “self” worship: self-esteem, personal happiness, individual rights and self gratification.

We are to live exactly the opposite type of life: selfless [4] , putting others first [5] , obedient [6] and sacrificing to keep God’s commandment no matter the personal cost [7] .

Do you SELF esteem [8] ? Or esteem [9] Christ?

Do you teach your children to love themselves first and live by their feelings? Or do you model your life and actions to teach them to love God and others first, regardless of their feelings?

Are you pursuing your own personal happiness and what feels good to you at the cost of your family, friends, witness and testimony? Or do you daily crucify your need to glorify your self, your feelings, and your wants for those of God and others?

The esteem we should have as Christians should be for many things (God, Jesus, others, etc.) but never should it be for ourselves. The Lord has promised to [10] esteem us through His righteousness on that glorious day [11] when we will present [12] ourselves to him as his children and servants.



[1] Revelation 21:8 But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”

[2] James 4:17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

[3] Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

[4] Luke 9:23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

[5] Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another

[6] Deuteronomy 30:9 The LORD your God will make you abound in all the work of your hand, in the fruit of your body, in the increase of your livestock, and in the produce of your land for good. For the LORD will again rejoice over you for good as He rejoiced over your fathers, 10if you obey the voice of the LORD your God, to keep His commandments and His statutes which are written in this Book of the Law, and if you turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

[7] Matthew 16:26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

[8] Luke 16:15 And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.

[9] Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

[10] Philippians 3:20 For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.

[11] 2 Timothy 4:8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.

[12] Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

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