Question:
What does it mean to be “unequally yoked”? We generally hear this in the context of marriage but what does it really mean, and how does it apply to life in general?
Answer:
The primary verse in question is 2 Corinthians 6:14 and even though we hear this most often associated with marriage, the verse in context is not specifically about marriage:
2 Corinthians 6:14 – Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (NKJV)
Since it is a direct command (“do not be…”) followed by some stark comparisons (righteousness vs. lawlessness; light vs. dark), we are compelled to fully understand it’s meaning and know how it applies to us today on a daily basis.
What Do Eggs Have to Do With It?
Despite my attempt at humor, it has nothing to do with eggs (spelled “yolk” if you’ve missed my lame joke). Officially the definition of yoke is: stable gear that joins two draft animals at the neck so they can work together as a team.
The best way to define it is to show you what it is:
A yoke is a harness that ties to animals together so that their pulling strength is combined. In this arrangement, it could also be that one animal’s strength is doing the work for both, or helping the other. This is more the context of Jesus’ words here:
Matthew 11:29-30 – Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (NKJV)
When we yoke ourselves to Christ, we harness ourselves into his plan, his power… he guarantees we have the necessary power required. We follow his direction. We are controlled by the same “driver”.
It is interesting to note that another definition of yoke is: an oppressive power. This makes Matthew 11:29 even more appropriate because the yoke of Jesus is the opposite of oppressive; it is empowering. Consider this verse also, one of my favorite:
2 Peter 1:5 – But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, (NKJV)
“Giving all diligence” would be communicated today as “trying as hard as you possibly can”. The picture here is that God requires our very best effort while we know that the real power and success comes from God. Together with Matt 11:29 you would have a principle that goes something like this:
“Yoke yourself to Jesus. You’ll still try with all your might, but the power of Christ guarantees your success as a Christian. The burden is ‘light’ because we know that our effort is never in vain and God sees to every detail. The yoke is ‘easy’ because it only requires our childlike complete trust in the Lord.”
What a beautiful thought. No wonder there is rest for our souls when yoked to Christ.
Unequally Yoked With Unbelievers
What does that mean, “unequally yoked to unbelievers”? In context of 2Cor 6:14, it specifically means not to be tied together with the unsaved, the world, those who reject God in such a way as to be:
- heading the same direction
- trying to accomplish the same things
- yoked to them instead of to Christ (they are more important)
- depending on our power and theirs, instead of God
- being controlled by what they are being controlled by (the oxen are reigned by the farmer)
Okay, that’s fine and dandy but what does that mean on a practical level to my everyday life? How can we apply it? Listing some examples will give you a better picture than if I just try to explain it. But first, understand this… we have to live in this world. So being unyoked from the world does not mean we are to live in a cave. Consider Jesus and Paul’s words:
John 17:14 – I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. (NKJV)
Romans 12:2 – And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (NKJV)
We are to live in this world, that is a foregone conclusion of human existence, but we are not to be OF this world embracing what unbelievers embrace… in other words, we don’t YOKE ourselves to the world. We live in among the world but we don’t harness ourselves to it.
The Christian must be able to discern the difference. What is being “part” of this world (but not yoked) versus being “of”this world (yoked to it)? Some practical examples give us the clearest picture.
Practical Examples of Being Yoked
| Example | “in” the world (not yoked) | “of” the world (yoked) |
| Marriage | Married, but to a Believer |
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| Business | Employed at a business owned by unbelievers |
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| Money | Earning income not specifically doing “Christian” work or selling “Christian” products to believers or unbelievers |
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| Sex | Enjoying sex within marriage |
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| Parenting | Parenting children, school choices, electronic games, activities that may or may not be specifically “Christian” (ie. football or public school) |
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| Self Improvement | Exercise, education and achievement that enhances your ability to live and demonstrate the Christian life |
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| Time | Spending your time in activities other than “church” or Christian service such as sports, hobbies, leisure always keeping in mind that we are to be good stewards of the time God has allowed us |
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| Goals | Having a goal that is not specifically “Christian” such as owning a nicer home or being a good golfer |
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| Focus | You could be focused on something of this world such as sports or education without letting it compromise your Christian walk. |
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It is important for us to understand what this means to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers”. We must continually evaluate our life to make sure we are not “unequally yoked” in any way. Why?
2 Corinthians 6:14 – Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (NKJV; emphasis mine)
To be unequally yoked with the world is to mix opposites to our own detriment. Light and dark cannot coexist together in cooperation. Good and evil cannot walk hand in hand. Mixing opposite or contentious elements will cause us to stumble, be deceived, stagnate and waste resources (time, emotion, energy, money, etc).
To put Paul’s words (“For what fellowship has..”) in modern language we might say “Are you nuts? Do you want to cause a bunch of unnecessary hardship and trouble in your life? Do you want to make your Christian walk hard, or even impossible?”
Remember, God’s “rules” are not constraining or kill-joy. The Creator gave us an Instruction Manual because He loves us and knows how we should operate to have the greatest success, fulfillment, joy and blessing in this life. He tells us not to be unequally yoked… that is not a way to rob us of choices, but to direct us to the most rewarding ones.
What are your questions about living the Christian life?
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I would be very grateful if you
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
in short, the usual understanding that it pertains to marrying an unbeliever is correct except that it has a lot to do more than that. meaning, if a non-believer would refuse to accept the christian faith before marriage, then he/she must end their relationship. how about if he/she is somewhat neutral or there is a chance to accept the faith?
Sometimes called ‘missionary dating’, I don’t think it is a good idea. I can’t count the number of people, especially women, that marry men who have temporarily become serious about Christianity, or PROMISED to become serious… and then don’t. You should date those who are already serious or at least give enough time to make sure its real (years?).
good article. you describe above two concepts, ‘in the world’ (not yoked) and ‘of the world’ (yoked). My question is if an unbelieving couple married, and after a few years only one became a believer, are they ‘of the world’ (yoked) according to your definition above? Are they ‘unequally yoked’ and is this permissible?
Another interesting point – since ‘unequal yokes’ are not allowed then Paul should have told believers to divorce their unbelieving spouses because this represents an ‘unequal yoke’. However, he did not suggest divorce, he said the opposite – do not get divorced. This means that an ‘unequal yoke’ is not the fact that one is married to an unbeliever. An ‘unequal yoke’ only occurs if the relationship causes the believer to fall away from God.
I agree with your other examples of being unequally yoked (Money, Sex, Time, Goals). For example, your goals example was correct, “you could be unequally yoked to a worldly goal that causes your Christian walk to suffer or keeps you from growing spiritually”. Similarly, I believe the marriage example should have been, “you could be unequally yoked to an unbelieving spouse if it causes your Christian walk to suffer or keeps you from growing spiritually”.