If I go for a walk/run with an old friend, she gets angry. I’m not able to speak to family members or friends (of course I can) but then I’ll have to hear it from her for the next few days. She’ll always make it seem like it somehow takes away from her, even though it doesn’t in any way shape or form.

I try to be patient and reasonable and it’s always backfired. During an argument, when she clearly isn’t calming down after I apologize and try to be nice/loving, I take her home and on the way she screams the entire ride home asking me why I’m such a jerk (although I did nothing wrong; I have tried to empathize and be patient). I even give her 3 options at the end of the night. Either we can a) calm down and actually talk about it without screaming or hitting. b) we can each go home (separately) and cool off before resuming our efforts to resolve the issue or c) we can stay angry and scream and end the night on a bad not which will get us no where.

She ALWAYS goes with the worst possible scenario.

I need her to respect me (otherwise, I can’t talk to her) and she knows this but when she’s mad, she goes into a rage. Since being with her, I have slowly grown apart from friends, have been less active bc anything I want to do, she refuses.

I’ve come to know Christ again about 10 months ago and it’s been an uphill battle with her. I have stayed with her because of the fear that God would disapprove of me parting ways bc we have already slept with each other.

I do not want to fornicate anymore and I’ve made every effort to stop but when I’m doing well, she will accuse me of getting off from something else (which I haven’t been) and then if we kiss harmlessly, she will check to see if I’m turned on and if not she will get extremely angry even though she knows I’m trying to keep myself grounded. Then I end up sleeping with her to prove that I haven’t done anything and it’s really frustrating because it hinders my faith and walk with God.

Sometimes I fantasize on what it would be like if she were more mature. Maybe if she worked and had her own thing going on which would give me time to continue pursuing my passions and maintaining friendships and helping people which I enjoy but she makes out to be wrong. I purchased a 12,000 ring for our engagement because she got angry with me when I told her I was planning to spend 6,000. She scoffed and told me that her sister got an 18,000 ring. That ring put me into debt for almost a year and I was in the middle of trying to pay off my car (which thankfully, I paid off a few days ago).

I hate eating out, but she always refuses to eat anything at home, so we go out all the time. I enjoy eating out, but lately, my heart has been in pain and so I want to eat at home and workout, but she doesn’t participate. She would rather play her game.

I work very hard and try to provide, protect and I want to start a family and to be at peace with my future wife with love and respect in Christ. I worry that I will fail in whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing in life (if she continues to be this way).

I mean, will she hit me in front of the kids? Will she hit me while I’m driving with kids in the back seat?

I used to enjoy writing songs (have won many contests with large cash prizes) but she hates that I have written songs in the past about my ex and therefore, I’m no longer allowed to release songs to the public bc anyone can search and find my old songs.

My dad and mother both have tried to convince me to leave her and it’s difficult, especially when I consider how wrong it would be for me to just leave.

Don’t mind me, just venting from my frustrations.

In this particular case, private discussion with this person revealed years of effort and patience, years of broken promises, escalating violence and final ultimatum (chances) that were ignored again.

End the end, she has to make that decision herself, between her and God, but given what I was told, this dear sister had taken a beating (NO PUN INTENDED) trying to keep the marriage together and avoid divorce.