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How do I deal with a hurtful sister? She never passes up an opportunity to cut me down in front of others. Last week, she introduced me to her friend and said I was “the evil one”. She said it was a joke. What advice would you give me?


Whenever I face this type of situation I am reminded of the story of David and Shimei.

Shimei was hurling insults at David, kicking dirt and spitting, calling David names. Now usually behaving like this towards the King would result in instant punishment, probably death. And in our way of thinking, it would be the proper response.

2 Samuel 16:9 Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Please, let me go over and take off his head!” (NKJV)

Chop his head off! That was the natural response. That’s the way we feel about people who treat us the way this hurtful sister is treating you. The feeling is natural, and even somewhat justified. There is nothing “wrong” with you because this behavior hurts you. Of course it does.

As Christians however, we learn to look past our hurt and try to see God’s hand. David, a “man after God’s own heart”, discerned that God had sent Shimei. David said:

2 Samuel 16:10 …“What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? So let him curse, because the Lord has said to him, ‘Curse David.’ Who then shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’ ” (NKJV)

In other words, David put the matter in God’s hands. If the Lord sends us an adversary, then He has done so for a reason. The mature Christian seeks out the reason, and embraces it.

Why? Because the spiritual truth is that when we reach a place of total submission to God, and total focus on glorifying Him, then we will not be offended at all for our own sake.

We may never reach that point in this life, but we need to be constantly progressing towards it and accepting the opportunities (blessings) that God sends along to help us get there!