Question:
I am at a loss for words as to what to say. I feel like such a fool. A selfish fool for how I respond suffering. I feel so ashamed, so ridiculous and almost overwhelmed with my selfish, self consumed self. I wonder why I am this way. I am disgusted I am this way. I fear I will make my kids this way. What is the balance? How are you real but still have faith in God especially when you are suffering and when God doesn’t seem to make sense. I wish I were different with different attitudes and reactions in good and bad circumstances, being a righteous example for my children. Man do I feel like a failure. Man am I afraid to be stuck in this pit. I don’t want circumstances to dictate my life anymore. I want a genuine intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father to do that. I am so sorry for my failures in suffering. Father forgive me and save me from myself.
Answer:
You are that way because you struggle with sin, just like me, just like anyone reading this. Contrary to all our “self-esteem, love yourself, be positive no matter what” teaching today, your “disgust” at your sin is the BIBLICALLY correct response.
- Be merciful to me, a sinner! Luke 18:10
- My heart is wicked. Jeremiah 17:9
- Create in me a clean heart. Psalms 51
I could go on and on with verses that tell us to be aware of potential for sinfulness and our struggle with sin, from the Psalmist David to the Apostle Paul who tells us in Romans of his great battle against the flesh.
You are much more spiritually ready for God’s transforming power than the person walking around everyday telling themselves NOTHING BUT how special they are and how much “blessing” is theirs by divine right. Notice I said “NOTHING BUT…”
There is a balance. The positive things are true as well, but today, we don’t hear about the negatives from men such as America’s Favorite Pastor who said God didn’t call him to talk about the negative parts of life. Funny… God called every single writer of inspired Scripture to talk about it. I think I’ll throw my hat in with the inspired writers of God’s Word.
The “miracle” for Christians ONLY is this:
You are never more than one choice, one repentance, one prayer away from changing your life around completely.
You are never more than one day away from a fresh supply of God’s mercy and faithfulness.
We get to start over every day… and we should. You are not stuck unless you choose to be. You are not in a rut unless you don’t climb out. You do not have to continue to be a slave to your past, put it behind you. God says you can, you just have to choose it.
Circumstances have no power over the Christian. We live with an ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE. When we live life with our focus on what it means in the long run, the REALLY long run (eternity), the temporary circumstances of this life seem laughable.
STOP! Think about that. When we measure life against an eternal perspective, EVERY hardship and circumstance of this life seem laughably insignificant.
It’s not laughable while we are dealing with cancer or adultery. But if you think about it compared to eternity, there is nothing to be hopeless, anxious or stressed about which is exactly why it is A SIN TO WORRY.
You can stop worrying by choice when you embrace this truth. You can stop being anxious by choice. You can stop being negative, having pity parties, whining and complaining BY CHOICE.
Why? Because you now understand that compared to what is in store for Christians in eternity, our light and momentary afflictions in this life are insignificant and will fade instantly when it meets the glory of the Lord Jesus.
Your spirit of repentance and acknowledging your sin is the correct first step. The second is to acknowledge the truth of what I’ve said here, and simply CHOOSE to live it.