Question:
I’m a single mom and I’m praying for a Godly husband. How do I handle the unwanted approaches of worldly men?
Answer:
I might be smarter to simply tell you to ask a woman that question but I’ll give it a shot.
It is unfortunately true that alot of men are somewhat “predatory” nowadays, and if you poor women show a little bit of attention to them, you do it at your own peril. I’m embarrassed for my male species that any show of kindness, attention or politeness MUST be (in our minds) a signal that a woman wants more (or more accurately, wants what most men are after).
It is a shameful statement about our culture that male/female interaction in general is reduced down to “do I want to sleep with them?” and “how can I get them to sleep with me?” That use to be a male dominated mindset, but more and more women pride themselves on having the same mindset.
Most of all, I would say, keep praying for the Godly man you seek. That is first and foremost.
Here’s the Catch22… in order to somehow meet this Godly man, some sort of interaction must occur. So to simply develop a method by which to shoo men away before having any chance to communicate, would be somewhat counter productive.
However, your question specifically states “worldly” men, so I’ll answer along those lines. First, you should allows be polite because your Christian testimony is paramount. Given that men often mistake politeness for “interest”, you must also be clear and firm too.
If the fellow at hand seems to be a gentlemen, but you are not interested for whatever reason, you should have a pre-planned statement. From a guys point of view, I would not be offended by something like “I’m flattered by your interest in me but I need to let you know that I’m not interested in a date right now for my own personal reasons.” This statement is of course true because you will not have any interest in dating until you feel like the Lord has sent the man you are praying for.
If the man is being aggressive or inappropriate, then that’s a whole other response. With guys like that you just have to be blunt and tell them you are not interested, and would they please stop talking to you about personal things.
I feel sorry for you ladies. Married or not, that doesn’t seem to slow down any male with a lustful mind. I’ve known single women who would wear a wedding ring just to cut the number of unwanted advances down (not stop them! just reduce the number).
This whole situation is not just a matter of natural male/female attraction… it is a result of our sex-mad culture.
Be polite, be firm and don’t be embarrassed to tell men that you simply are not interested. “Good” guys will understand and appreciate your forthrightness. The other guys hopefully will get the hint and look elsewhere.
Hey Ladies… how about a little help with this one? Put your suggestions on the message board and rescue me. Go here…