Question:
My husband is not a church goer. For the last couple of years I have not tithed consistently. I did for years but my husband would complain because we didn’t have enough money to pay everything. He always says that I don’t have the money to tithe. Am I bringing curses upon myself for not consistently tithing? I do give offerings when I can. My husband has never directly told me not to tithe. Do I disregard what he says concerning this. I have asked for us to give a set amount every week but he hasn’t agreed to it. What should I do?
Answer:
You have a matter of conscience that involves to apparently conflicting Christian principles.
Giving (commonly called tithing):
2 Corinthians 9:7 So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. (NKJV)
Submission in marriage:
Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. (NKJV)
If you were simply not giving because you didn’t want to, then “curses” might not be the right word, but you certainly would be in line for discipline or chastisement from God (certainly you would not blessed).
However, you have a problem to reconcile. As a Christian, you are to give, and you are to honor your husband. You can’t do both because your husband doesn’t want you to give.
Some will argue that you should give because honoring God is a higher priority that honoring your husband. They would say that disobeying God to obey your husband means you are placing him above God.
Another might say that your husband is not honoring God, so you should not honor him.
Others will say that you should honor your husband because the marriage is a picture of Christ and His Church, so it has a higher priority than giving. They would save that by honoring your husband, you show him your obedience to God’s word through submission, and possibly he might come to know the Lord through your example.
Still others might say that you should talk to your husband, and tell him that you are going to go against his wishes and give to God, but only because you believe that you cannot disobey God, not because you don’t care about what your husband says.
When we face a choice like this, we are blessed to have a merciful and loving God will give us the right answer (James 1.5) and accept our decision made with a good conscience (1John 3.20; 1Tim 1.5).
My answer? Pray, follow the Spirit’s leading with a clear conscience, and make every choice one that will honor God to the very best that you are able to determine. After that, rejoice in our loving and merciful, understanding God.
Remember, God is not so much concerned about your choice, as He is knowing that you want your choice to glorify Him through your obedience.