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A reader asks:

How do you get rid of sexual impurity in your life? I would venture so far as to call myself a sex addict. How do I get help? Should I confess my transgressions to my wife?

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You ask a question that I believe highlights the “dirty little secret” in the Church today.  With the onslaught of entertainment, cable TV and especially the Internet, pornography has become epidemic.

Our society is SATURATED with sex, and the typical Christian has become so desensitized to it, that things that don’t even make us blush now would have been considered the height of gross immorality as little as 10 years ago.

So what do we do? Well, first we can be sure that it is the very clear will of God that we be sexually and morally pure:

  • 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 – For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; (NKJV)

First, there are practical steps: get accountability from wise mature Christians; make the decision to not view sexual material in entertainment; get software that prohibits your ability to view it on your computer.

Accountability – ask several mature, no-nonsense Christian brothers to hold your feet to the fire; give them permission to ASK YOU specific questions about your activity in this area.

Entertainment – the simplest solutions are always the hardest and causes people to scream the most: QUIT WATCHING MOVIES WITH SEX SCENES, BIKINIS, SEXUAL BEHAVIOR AND THE WHOLE HOLLYWOOD IMMORALITY-FESTIVAL.  If that means never watching another movie, then you’re better off. If that means nothing but the History Channel and CSPAN, then nothing lost.

  • Mark 9:43 – If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched— (NKJV)

What does that mean? It means DO WHATEVER IT TAKES NOT TO SIN.  Quit making excuses; quit rationalizing; quit justifying.  You aren’t going to die if you never see another movie, or quit watching Bay Watch, or miss these filthy reality TV shows.

Do you have to have the Internet?  Or maybe you just want it?  That’s okay.  TURN YOUR MONITOR AROUND WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT. Make promises to your accountability partners that you will not be on your computer alone, at night, when no one is looking.  Put accountability software on your computer.

Leave yourself no room for the old behavior. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!  Until you hate sin more than you love sinning, you will have a hard time changing. Until you love God more than you love personal pleasure, you will have a hard time changing.

If you have not truly turned to God, believed in and obeyed Jesus Christ – then you are still fighting sin with your flesh instead of with a renewed heart (Titus 3.5) and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Go to your Elders or Pastor and be honest. You need help. Trying to do this alone is disaster in the making.  No, do not tell your wife until you have sought the advice and counsel of several wise, mature Godly men. Then follow their advice.

What are your questions about purity and Christian living?

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